Friday, September 4, 2009

MORE ABOUT COURTSHIP

Happy Friday to you! I have not accomplished much in the last few days, it seems. I just got lazy after doing all that corn. Plus while my cousins were here we were pretty busy for the evening and the next early morning. We regretted they had to leave so soon.

One thing I did accomplish was alot more writing on the third book in my series. I hope it will be released in the spring of 2010. Sometimes I think that it will never be done, but then when I sit down at the computer to write, it seems the words and ideas just flow. The third book is part of the series that started with "The Fields of May." The series as well as the second and third books are yet to be named. Each book in the series is centered on courtship and finding a mate in a way pleasing to the Lord. Each one builds on the character's lives from the previous book. This last book takes place mostly in Africa with a couple on the mission field. If you enjoyed my first book, please plan to read the sequel and then the third one as well. I'm anxious to have the entire series completed. A fourth book is forming in my mind that will require some research. This is something I am unskilled at. I am not sure where to begin with it, but I think it will be interesting!

I have been wanting to take time to write a bit more on courtship. The particular subject I want to mention today is how the society affects our ideas and attitudes toward dating and pre-marriage relationships. In re-reading the stack of 1915-1920 letters that went back and forth between my then unmarried grandparents--he a WW1 soldier and she a farm girl; I made several observations. One of the main things that I noticed was how polite their communications seemed to be. They joked about things in their lives and seemed to have a sense of humor in their letters, but with an ever-present and overriding respect and politeness that often seems lacking among people today. He addressed her with affection and respect. His letters were often signed, "Your loving friend," etc. In one particular letter he comments on something she had written after he had given her a service pin of his. She apparently mentioned not feeling that she had any right to wear it and he corrected her. I think from the tone of the letter he was attempting to show her how interested he was in her that he would choose her to receive this gift. He told her that she had someone in the service who was or wanted to be her dear friend. His comments carried a tender sweetness that was very endearing.

Back in the time when these letters were written, it is obvious to me (and anyone that studies history) that society itself played an important role in preserving the integrity of marriage and pre-marriage relationships. In other words, everyone you knew was watching to make sure you behaved in a polite, honorable manner. The society itself was geared to helping maintain certain standards. Did they have their troubles back then? I'm sure they did; all was not perfect. But I remember my father telling the story that when grandma was a young girl the entire downtown of a nearby town caught fire. The town was approximately 6 miles away and surely the smoke could be seen from grandma's farm. A neighbor boy who was highly respected by my grandma's family offered to take my grandma in his buggy up to the town to see the commotion. Her parents declined the offer since it would be considered too far for a young girl to ride alone with someone she was not married to! Imagine that! But that makes my point exactly. Your reputation was carefully guarded and if you weren't wise enough to guard it yourself, someone would do it for you! We've certainly strayed a long way from that. I think that might be why courtship has become a talked-about subject among more conservative Christians in the past few years. Someone has to bring some sanity back to this whole process. Back in the day it might not have been as necessary to think along these lines since there were so many checks and balances in place already. I suppose that the old days relationships resembled courtship quite a bit anyway. America was once a predominantly Christian culture with a Biblical worldview. That alone helped to protect even the non-Christians in the society. Now we have strayed so far that even kids raised in the church are falling prey to the same evils that plague their peers.

Shouldn't a society have a vested interest in preserving values and integrity among its young people? I think so. Even more so, the church should have this interest. Nowdays we see the exact opposite. Much of our media and institutions seem to serve the opposite purpose. Take a look at some of the headlines of the common magazines for teen girls and you will soon see what we as a society value and are promoting for our young women. Most of the articles have to do with looks, clothes, and how to get a guy to pay attention to you. Really, is that all life is about? When we promote such ideas we are basically telling a young girl that her looks are all that matters.What about lasting values and character qualities? What about beauty that will not fade? What about promoting Godly wisdom and virtues that will carry you through the tough times in life? Someone needs to speak up and swim against the current, countering the culture.

I think that's why there is an increasing interest in courtship. It's a return to a more biblical approach to marriage and a reaction to the devastation that the dating system has wreaked on us. More on another day......

Today I got to have lunch in the beautiful gazebo at a friend's home. Wow, how lovely it was eating a nice salad while watching a profusion of birds come to feed with the lovely garden in the background. I think I was made for porch sitting and sipping tea on the veranda! Well, weren't we all really made for that--after all...Eden! It was very relaxing and serene. We had a nice leisurely visit and I found myself wishing there were more time in every day for this kind of relaxation and fellowship! Blessings, LORI

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