STILL MORE ON THE SUBJECT OF COURTSHIP!

Thanks for permitting me another post on the subject of courtship. I hope this is creatively challenging you to check the scriptures on the matter.



Yesterday I mentioned a New Testament example of something akin to a courtship. Did you guess wha the account was? It was the story of Jesus's birth and Mary and Joseph's betrothal. If I understand the customs correctly, betrothal was a binding contract that had some elements of our modern engagements and some elements of a marriage all rolled into one. The couple that was betrothed could not break the agreement without something that resembled a divorce. It was that serious, yet the couple was not living together until the actual marriage ceremony took place.



To the best of my knowledge a betrothal also involved a system of honor based on the integrity of the two families and in this case, their religion as well. Maybe an arrangement had been made even years prior to the actual betrothal by other family members and therefore, to break the betrothal was unthinkable. That explains why Joseph had a mind to "put her away privately" when Mary was found to be pregnant. He would have had to "divorce" her and this would not be easy. However, remember this was still before the Holy Spirit had come to indwell every believer. God still spoke to His people and communicated to them on a different basis than we know today. I think we take for granted the beautiful role that the Holy Spirit plays in all our lives unless we purpose to think about what it would have been like to have to depend on a prophet or a dream or such for God to reveal His will. But that is what happened in this account. Obviously God was pleased with this couple and how they conducted themselves. He saw in Joseph and Mary the character that He wanted in two individuals that would be the earthly parents of His Son! This lends some credibility to betrothal right there!



Even the fact that Joseph was willing to keep Mary as his wife after God showed him in a dream that it would be ok, says alot about the man's character. Put yourself in Joseph's place. Even with a dream to back up your decision there would be much to overcome in such a situation!



Well, few are the actual "betrothals" that we see today. Although I know there are a few Christians that embrace this becuase I've read their testimonies. But you may be asking by now, "what's really wrong with dating," or "doesn't it serve the same purpose in the end?" To that, I'd give two hearty answers, "there's alot wrong with dating!" and "NO, not necessarily!"



Dating is a faulty system on a lot of levels. For instance, in a betothal or courtship the young man is expected to be financially sound before ever even approaching a girl's parents with the intention of pursuing her. That is biblical since the scripture gives ample thoughts on providing for your family and even goes so far as to suggest that women be "keepers at home." I'll not go into that any further, since it opens a whole new discussion about women in the work force and that's not my subject here. You can study that for yourself if you're interested. But let's face it, in the dating scene, all the financial stablility you need is to have enough money for a little gas in the car, some fast food, and a movie! And worse than that, maybe nowdays the girl will pay for her food and movie and maybe the guy's too! Wow! Have things ever changed? I remember being instructed that if a guy wasn't intending to pay for the date, he wasn't worth my time and consideration, and that was the faulty dating system! Now you don't even need a job, you can save up your birthday money and be ready for a date!



This is just ONE of the many reasons that dating is not a sound, reliable system to foster healthy marriages and families. You may be asking, "why is it so bad for a girl to pay for her date?" Well, consider this, when we let young men off the hook in financial matters, it's like removing responsibility that mirrors what a healthy marriage should look like. It's like saying, 'you can have anything you want with no responsibility to make a financial committment.' Think about that and see if that's not really true. Anytime we relieve any person of responsibilities that are biblically sound (financial stability, work ethic, morality, etc., etc.) we do them a great disservice. We are stripping them or their potential and identity and the very best that God desires for the individual. What if you told your child he didn't have to obey his parents because it was an old-fashioned idea? Then you allow him or her to go their own way until they are about 19 or 20 or 21 and they are supposed to suddenly mature and be upstanding citizens? It just doesn't work that way. In the same way, dating fosters a lack of financial responsibility, among other things. Blessings, LORI