Isn't summer great?! I have been enjoying the variety of fresh foods that are available right now for just pennies! Summer is great for that fact alone. We eat so much less fruit and vegetables in the winter just because they are not as readily available as they are now. Just this week we were privileged to eat green beans, onions, potaotes, tomatoes, blueberries, watermelon, corn, peaches and probably more than I've forgotten--all fresh and in season. Our gardens are about to bear another crop of red raspberries and some watermelon in addition to more squash and all the other stuff like potatoes that are still waiting to be dug. I am hoping to get the gardens all cleaned up before we head out for a vacation next Sunday right after church. We will be going to Nashville with most of the family. Looking forward to that, but that means my week is shaping up to be a busy one with housecleaning, gardens to attend to etc.
In the continuing discussion of courtship, I want to focus today on "broken hearts, wounded hearts." The common system of dating creates both of these in abundance. I tend to think that most often girls are the ones affected by this, yet I know it can certainly be true for the guys as well. When we cling to a system that requires no committment, we find many broken and wounded hearts left in the wake. Humans were never intended for that. Before the fall, we have the example in Adam and Eve. Adam had one wife, Eve. He was designed to give his heart and committment to one woman for life. There was to be no death and no separation. Since the fall, all kinds of "less than perfect" living has resulted, fueled by a sinful nature. I ask you, which system further promotes the sinful or lower nature of a human being, "dating", or "courtship"? It seems to me to be obvious. In dating, no committment is expected and often it is even discouraged. How many times have you heard parents say, 'I want my child to date around and experience alot of different people before they settle on one person for life.'? That's the popular thought--you can't possibly know what you want unless you've tasted all the variety that's out there. Again, this thinking leaves the working of the Holy Spirit completely out of a life. He can help us to understand what's best for us without trying all the different options, saving us much confusion and heartache.
I have known of girls (and even guys) that are left heartbroken after dating breakups. The nature of a woman is to pour her heart out in love. It is easy for women and girls to do this. The nurturing aspect of a woman is strong and when misdirected (dating) and then rejected, it can be devastating. At the very least, it creates a heart that is wounded. A part of your being that should have been reserved for one person for life (until death do us part) is now gone, sacrificed on someone else that didn't care, had no committment, or decided you were not right for them for one reason or another. We have an epidemic of girls in this country that are plagued with eating disorders and other self destructive issues. Is it possible we have set up a system that contributes to their lack of respect for themselves? I think we have. Dating and being rejected sets a person up for a warped view of their value. The same can be true of the guys, I just think it happens less. Of course, these self-destructive behaviors are not only caused by dating, it's just one more contributing factor that we've let slip in.
Some of my favorite movies are the depictions of Jane Austen novels. In one of the movies a certain gentleman in the story had made a committment of engagement to a girl in his younger years. He later realized he had done something hasty in his youth that turned out to be unwise. Instead of walking away from what he considered a binding committment, he was going to go through with a marriage even though his heart had certainly changed and his youthful impulsiveness was discovered to be unwise. These stories were set in the early 1800's and that just goes to show how much we've changed. Back then your word was your word. If you said it you meant it and you followed through. Thinking of this story reminded me of a verse in Psalm 15:4 In part the verse says, "he who swears to his own hurt and does not change." This Psalm is describing high character qualities and that's one of them--a person is willing to swear or commit to something and follow through even if it hurts him. We have come so far from that. Our lifestyles in pre-marriage do not mirror anything even close to that and the result is many devastated and broken hearts.
Marriage and committment are good for a society. Why then do we hold on to a system that promotes the exact opposite?
I hope to write more on the subject tomorrow. I hope you're not bored with these "articles." I think it's important for us as Christians to ponder some deep subjects and be ready to discuss them for the sake of being salt and light. And....having been a pastor's wife for 17 years, I can honestly say we have seen much of the destruction that happens to people and so much could be avoided, especially in this area if a little change in our convictions were to take place.
Got to spend some time with Emma today after a whole week of not seeing her and that was surely fun. Had a nice time at church with much encouragement from the Lord. I hope you can say the same! Blessings, LORI
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